我用力牵起没温度的双手
过往温柔已经被时间上锁
只剩挥散不去的难过
缓缓掉落的枫叶像思念

much food for thought. that's what I had at supper just now. no, actually I had burger and fries. okay, so I had both, cuz I was greedy. the food was nice, if a little salty. the food for thought was brilliant, if a little caustic. and definitely much appreciated. yes I do realise that I may seem a tad closed (and consequently, superficial [eeks!]) sometimes, but I think seem is the operative word here. not talking doesn't mean I don't care. not doing what everyone else does doesn't mean I'm acting cool..and most importantly, acting cool doesn't mean I'm not cool. woot. carrying on, not making small talk just for the sake of it is what I believe in, so that when you actually talk to someone they will know that you care. so if I have nothing worth saying, I do what seems decent to me. I don't say anything. ahh I see a vicious cycle. hmmm, actually it's not a cycle. okay, a vicious chain it shall be. here goes:

not wanting to make meaningless small talk -> shut up -> act cool -> punchable

that was fun. it's like one of those flowcharts at the end of every PBL case. just that those have about 10 times more points. and one more of which brought up also was that of confidence and ego. which I think are worlds apart. confidence's good, ego's how a 16 year-old feels he can conquer the world, and that has to be feed. confidence is built upon, it's earned I'd say.

they say that the first step is acknowledging you have an issue. okay, so here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to shut down my laptop and brush my teeth. then I'm going to go sleep. cheers. oh, and take a strepsils for the sore throat that's developing.